We had a very interesting insight during the pre-assessment and training of kids in Hyderabad.
Almost all 25 of the girls were more gender equal to outsiders and strangers than they were to their family members. They advocated for gender equality in case studies where the characters were strangers. But the moment the case study was about your mom and your sister, the onset of patriarchal values was immediate- and universal.
I am sharing the video of a case study where the dad is physically abusive toward the mom. The son keeps telling the mom to leave the dad, but the mom refuses.
The question is: Is the son right in asking his mom to move out...
Except for about 4-5 girls all other girls said, the mom needs to stay on.
"Family needs to stay together"
"Mom must have made a mistake"
"Society will not accept it"
It was disheartening and disappointing. But kudos to @kaumudi from Learning Space Foundation. In 20 min, in a very powerful session, she provided insights on human dignity, supporting women, and how even when men make huge mistakes they rarely get beaten. All the girls had changed their opinion equivocally that mom needed to leave the abusive dad. Also, they needed to support those women who decided to leave abusive relationships.
We all had tears when the session ended. And then the outpouring started about the stories of abuse of their moms and of themselves.
A girl's parents had paid 25 L dowry, but when she came back to them because she was abused, they refused to support her. So she walked away from her in-laws and parents and now lived in the orphanage/residential school.
A girl was there because her dad had murdered her mom.
A resident's sister was put on fire, she survived and yet chose to live with her abusive husband and in-laws. Because she felt she had nowhere to go to.
The stories went on... There is so much pain in this world. And hurt people hurt people. Patriarchal values hurt all genders. We need to change the narrative. Change the mindset.
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